Beetlebugs

So, something happened to me this week that isn't too major (actually, in the grand scheme it is quite inconsequential) but is blogworthy as it is ripe for florid (if not awkward) metaphors. And so...

Imagine: there are these two beetlebugs working away in a beetlebug colony. Both beetlebugs work quite hard. Both are in charge of leading younger beetlebugs in the colony. Beetlebug A's job involves working with other beetlebugs in the new art of Shmickery Light - a fantastic process which, like a camera, takes a snapshot of a certain moment in time and preserves it on a thing the beetlebugs call an expanded cube. Beetlebug B's job produces the results which are captured in Schmickery Light. It is a fantastic thing indeed.

Here's the problem, however. Beetlebug A's job is only to mentor other, younger beetlebugs on Smickery Light, not actually to perform the ritual himself (his powers are much to strong for this). Some of the beetlebugs he mentors are, well, not exactly the brightest of the beetlebug bunch. These beetlebugs work with Beetlebug B (who, quite believably is barely able to be patient with bugs who aren't up to his high standards).

Well, this week the art of Schmickery Light was performed and things did not go well. One of Beetlebug A's camp intoned the wrong syllables when performing the ritual and Schmickery Light turned into Shittley Fright. This cause Beetlebug B to say "this is NOT DY-NO-MITE."

Beetlebug B confronts Beetlebug A and is not at all happy. Beetlebug A tries to calm beetlebug B and assures him that he (A, that is) will perform the next Schmickery ritual himself. Beetlebug B misinterprets this to mean that A will pay for Beetlebug C (from another colony) to come out and perform Schmickery Light. By the way - Beetlebug C charges 300 darkins a parcept for his Schmickery skills (A charges nothing). The Beetlebug King steps in and says "woah!! The colony doesn't have that kind of money and you can't just go calling Schmickery experts from other colonies!"

I know what you are saying: "this is stupid! I can't understand what you are saying." But you must understand - to me, this whole thing in real life seems to have unfolded in as irrational a way as this story. I can only say that I wish I was making 300 darkins a parcept at See Us Use eBay (I make about 37 darkins a parcept now).