Master of Nothing

Over the past 7-10 years I have built up my skills in the following departments:

• Music (composition and teaching)
• Audio and synthesis/recording
• Web design and scripting
• Graphic design
• Typography (mostly music typefaces)
  
• Interactive application development
• Video and video editing

With the exception of the music and a little of the audio stuff (synthesis, mainly) I've taught myself the rest. I learned that the official term for someone who is self taught is "autodidact." So, I'm an autodidact. Whoopee...
The benefits:

• I got to (And still get to) make a little side cash doing assorted things.
• I get to quench my thirst for technology and creative thinking (I love computers, I love creating things, it is a good match)

The drawbacks:

• Except for music composition and teaching, I don't think that I can really do any of those things particularly well.
• I feel lacking in foundational training that must be present somewhere (I just don't know where).

I mention this because it has occurred to me that part of my New Year's resolution was to take my life back (in a nutshell) through focus. So, in marketing it is known that if you try to sell something to everyone, you will fail. Instead, energy must be put into targeting a particular audience and if there are positive side-effects of that effort than great. What I am meaning to get at here is that while I do know how to record, script, design, and program a little I am wondering if it is really worth it. I've done neat little things here and there (thenewstyle.org is one of those things) but now I think maybe my first passion, composition, has taken a hit. Hmm... thing is I still really like to do these things. But, I feel that they are more like hobbies that I happen to get paid for sometimes to do. Not that I don't like getting paid. It is just that I take pride in my professionalism and when I see others who do video, scripting, multimedia, or whatever for a living (it is their profession, mind you) and I am being asked questions by them how to do certain things, well it bothers me a little. It makes me think "maybe I should have done this instead" or "perhaps I should spend more time on scripting, design, etc." Perhaps you see my quandary? By really devoting time to these side-skills I am then taking away for my main skill and so it could be said that I am accomplishing a whole lot of nothing. I feel as if I haven't pushed my music as much as I should have or should be doing. I am not sure what it is: fear? laziness? job pressures? family pressures? Eh, I think that it is really the first two. And so I begin to think that maybe I learn these other skills as a way to escape this reality (or at least it evolved into this).

Anywhoo, I am not quite sure what I'll be doing about it as I like being able to do all of the above with a certain amount of competency. But, I do feel the need to prioritize my creative self and maybe let go of the want master everything.