Not my scene

It can easily be said that I am not hip enough for the elementary set. Today, I 'volunteered' to help out at a 'treat sale.'

The concept is this: a class in an elementary school features assorted goodies and drinks for the entire school to purchase at the end of the school day, each item for $.25. The quality of the items is quite wide. Some items are great: big ol' cookies, Doritos, 16oz. bottles of water. Other items suck: handmade bookmarks (a piece of construction paper that is colored), bags of homemade snack mix (who gives a fuck!). I stood there, towering over the smallish masses while they approached me viciously with their dollars and dead Presidential bling. Frantic were the little monsters as they sought to get a fix of sugar through complex carbs via Spunkmeyer cookies or CapriSun drink pouches. There were a few other parent volunteers there. You could tell I was the outsider as their demeanor was rather slack and casual - almost as if this was old hat for them. I, on the other hand, stood there carefully watching the cashbox making sure none of the little shitmonkeys tried to pull a smash and grab and run off with Lincolns, Jeffersons, various States, and even a Sackajawea (I'd never seen one before).

My daughter was quite happy that I was there so I suppose that it is worth it for that. Truth be told, however, this kind of thing is NOT for me at all. I dunno, I can't remember mi Madre ever doing these sorts of things (and that isn't a criticism, just a detail I can't remember).

The parent who made the shitty snack mix consisting of popcorn, pretzels, peanuts, and prunes (yes, prunes) proceeded to give me about 12 bags of the stuff after the treatsale. I took great pleasure in disposing of it in the receptacle located in the faculty parking lot at See Us Use eBay.

Prunes! These are elementary school kids not those of the Greatest Generation who happen to need a little help dropping their terdlings off at the pool.