When we are tested

Today, the jv3k embarks on a journey to be tested. This is something that we (and I will temporarily refer to her as a person to be more serious here) have talked about for the past few weeks. At stake: graduate school beginning in the fall. She is down - 1 to 4. But, we both have come to grips with this. What I think of between then and now:

Is she ready?
- Yes and no. Yes, she is intellectually capable and quite hungry for higher level learning. No, her completed works don't show her newfound insights and there is a little "catch up" to do. She is capable of catching up, however.

Will she do well?
- Yes.

Is there anything I can do?
- No.

And this is really the point of this. jv3k is the first student I have had that is on his or her way to graduate school. In a way, I feel as if I am being tested. Not by those institutions to which she applies but by her in the needs demonstrated by her willingness to be pushed to go the distance. But by her to see if I've got what it takes to deal with the results, positive or negative.

The positive: she gets in and will be leaving in the Fall.
The negative: I'll miss her as a student (she is a joy to teach) but that is a selfish reason (that I am willing to let go of).
The negative: she doesn't get in and is here for another year.
The positive: I get to really follow through with some great training that I've only begun to start with her (again, a selfish reason that I am willing to let go of).

It is easiest when someone quits. Frustrating, for sure. But, to walk away with hands in the air is to fail to accept the challenge in the first place and to simply move on. Is it the right way? No. My mom taught me not to quit and I pride myself on sticking through the worse in order to finish what is started. But around me, I constantly see hands thrown in the air. Not by jv3k - she has proven to be much tougher than I originally gave her credit for. Rather, other students, colleagues, friends from the past - at sometime I have seen a point at which they gave up at something. Now, eating at me is if there is a different between quitting and respectfully resigning one's self to the inability to complete the task. In the former, I see cowardice. In the latter, I see hunility and honor.

The angel on my right shoulder says: A least you gave your all.
The devil on my left shoulder says: Bullshit! This is just spin.

There isn't really an overwhelming reason that I felt the need to post this except to air something that has really been on my mind for quite a while and seems to continually come up in everything I do.

When we are tested, what do we do? Do we:
A.) Take the test and answer everything as best we can.
B.) Look at the test, answer what we can and skip what we can't.
C.) Stare at the test in panic or disbelief and allow anxiety to rule
D.) Test? What test?
E.) Answer C