Customer service is a pain sometimes

I run a business. The Wifer and I hoc our wares in the form of digital downloads and we see little bits of income here and there (enough to order pizza once a month). The downside to this business is that we have to field questions from customers who, uh how can I put it nicely, are lacking in interpersonal and critical thinking skills. This means I get occasional emails with irate folks asking:
"How does this thing work?!"
"I didn't get my download and now it's gone!" (when in truth, they did download it)
"My download is incomplete!" (when really, it isn't. they just think it is)

I've yet to issue a refund as I've been very courteous and patient with my customers. I hold on to their money with a tight grip as the way I see it, downloading our product is like driving the car off the lot: not my problem anymore (we don't have a warranty).

So - there is something coming soon that is going to knock everyone's socks off. Those of you who know me already know what it is. I swear, with this thing I will retire a happy man. More soon.